My doctor is cooler than yours!

I saw JPJ on Monday. I took the results from my MRI for him to read and translate. I had the CD and probably could have attempted to look at it myself over the weekend. But, have you seen images from an MRI? I’ve seen many from all my years of testing and all I can tell is my spine. That’s pretty distinguishable. The rest looks like a weird, blobby mess. It means nothing to me. So I waited. Let’s just say that the appointment didn’t go quite as well as I had hoped. Cliff notes: I’d better get used to sitting. We’re still holding out hope, but………

Instead of going into details and specifics, I decided to focus on some of the positive. I hereby give you a couple “tops” lists.

Top 5 reasons being in a wheelchair isn’t so bad:

  • I am SOOOO much faster than I was before! I’ve never been a runner. I’ve never been fast. But now I can let the wheels go and feel the wind in my hair as I rush down the street. (Though sometimes I’ll hit a rough patch or a bump and almost unseat myself. But that’s part of the rush, right?)
  • I don’t fall. Ok, to be fair, I am still able to fall. But that’s usually when I’m doing transfers and my locks aren’t tight. But before I used to fall all the time. Right before my surgery I was falling down several times every day. One more fall and my knees would have jumped out of my body and run away on their own. They were over it. (One could argue if they did their job better I wouldn’t have fallen down as often. But have you tried arguing with knees? Very stubborn.)
  • I always have a seat. Like in a crowded place where there are only a couple benches, I don’t have to worry about my legs getting tired. I’m very comfortably seated while others are scrambling for space.
  • My arms are getting so strong that I should probably start entering arm wrestling competitions.
  • People are nicer to me. Usually. People tend to open doors for me. They offer to help me all the time. Some people rush over to my car to see if they can help me with my wheelchair. Complete strangers. I’m always amazed at people and their capacity to be kind. Well, most people. Some are complete jerks who live in their own self-absorbed worlds. But, it’s like 85% good people, 15% dbags. So, I still consider that a win.

Top 5 reasons why my doctor is cooler than yours*:

  • He wears cowboy boots. All the time. In his office. In the hospital. In the OR (that stands for “operating room” for all of you surgery rookies out there). When I was in the hospital, I would hear the slow “clack-clack-clack” of his boots as he walked down the hallway and I’d feel relief as I knew he was coming in to check on me and save the day.
  • He’s a cowboy from Montana. Legit. He has a farm there still. Fancy Beverly Hill neurosurgeon by day, cowboy in his spare time. That just reeks of cool.
  • He has been involved in all of my major spinal surgeries. He was a resident under my neurosurgeon when I was ten and most likely operated on me then. And then he operated on me this past time. There’s something very Zen and full-circley about that.
  • He saved my bladder. The way things were going, a catheter seemed to be in my near future. Like Superman, he swooped in and saved the day. How would that not win Coolest Doctor award?
  • He fills the room like John Wayne. I guess that relates back to number 2. His presence just kind of fills the room. He’s this combination of intelligence and confidence that makes you feel like he’s going to save the day. If my doctor and your doctor were in the same room, your doctor would be quivering in my doctor’s shadow. For real.

See, now wasn’t that more fun than some whiney post about not walking? You’re welcome.

*This list obviously excludes all friends and family who are doctors. You’re all obviously very cool or else I wouldn’t waste my time knowing you.

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