Fallen ego

You’ve heard the old adage about getting back up if you fall down? Well, I did that today. Literally. Yes, I was “that person” who fell off a piece of equipment at the gym. I had a video, but I make the most unflattering face in it that I deleted it and tried purging it from my memory. It’s the kind of unflattering thing that a person uses to blackmail another person for lots of money.

Let’s go back to yesterday. I had a wild notion that I could use the rowing machine at the gym.  My theory was that the thing slides pretty easy and that my hip muscles kind of work so maybe I could try it out.


The hubs and I went to the gym this afternoon to try it out. It was packed and I almost chickened out. But, I reminded myself that I am not Beyonce and people are probably not staring at me. Getting onto the machine was fairly easy. I just pushed the seat to the back and went at an angle that would keep it pushed back. The hubs put my feet in the foot strap and gave me the handle. Pulling myself in was harder than I thought. My right knee hyper extends, so I had to manually push it into a bent position then use my not so functioning quad muscles to try to actually bend them into the upright position while also pulling myself in. I was actually able to do it!  I mean, I wouldn’t win any rowing championships, but it actually worked somewhat. Pushing back was fairly easy. After about 2 successful rows I convinced the hubs to film me so I could A) see my progress and B) show my mom. (Yes, in all things do I aim for my mother’s praise!)

He stood back and started filming. I pulled in, pushed out. Once. Twice. Three times. What I realized as I kept going is that it actually takes a little (read: A TON) of core strength and balance. These are things I am lacking. You see where this is going? Ok, so there I was. Once, twice, three. Four…whoops! I pulled so hard that I lost balance and fell off the machine, while simultaneously letting go of the handle which crashed back into the machine. The shock and hilarity of it all cracked me up. The hubs was more concerned with the fact that my left ankle was still strapped in place, despite my entire body being to the right of the machine. (Apparently he didn’t think ankles are supposed to bend in that direction.) My telling him it didn’t hurt didn’t seem to carry much weight. But, no, I did not actually hurt it.

After he freed the stuck foot, I was able to get back on the machine and tried a few more rows, this time focusing on not losing my balance. The hubs decided to not film me anymore and instead stand by me like a nervous mother hen.

I talked to the awesome gym owner and we’re going to brainstorm what I can do to keep my knee from hyper-extending so I can get into a rhythm without having to stop to bend it myself every time. He’s motivated to helping me in my recovery. I love the support!

The point of all of this is not to publicly embarrass myself more than I already did. It’s that now my abs are killing me. And it’s only 2 hours later. Tomorrow is going to suck! Ok, that’s not really the point. The point is that I fell down and got back up. I didn’t die from embarrassment. If anyone laughed or judged me, I’m confident they would end up in Hell, cause who could really laugh at a paralyzed person trying to better themselves? Only truly evil people. If you laughed at me (and not with me- there is a difference!) then yes, I’m totally judging you! But if it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger. And if you fall, then you need to get back up and try again. That’s more of a reminder to myself than anything else.

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