Leg Day

Today was leg day.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Leg day.  I know that when GunShow nicely suggested demanded that I get on the recumbent bike I questioned it.  I think I looked behind me to see who he was speaking to, since it obviously wasn’t me.  I’d assumed the wheelchair had given away the fact that my legs don’t work.  Maybe he wasn’t that quick to catch on?  He’s been overworked lately so maybe he’d forgotten?

But no.  As I was slow to follow, he asked politely  yelled at me to follow him and stop lagging behind.  I guess he was talking to me afterall.  Since I am always pleasant and never second guess him With a look of confusion and quite loudly voicing that, I followed him.  I think the conversation went like this:

GS: Get on the bike.*

Me: My legs don’t work.

GS: Excuse me?!

Me: [Blank stare] You heard me.

GS: Get on the bike.

Me: You realize my legs don’t work?

GS: Stop waiting and get on the bike.

Me: How?

GS: I can help you.

Me: I don’t need help.

GS: Then get on the bike.

Me: ……

GS: Let’s Go!

Ok, so after a few logistical maneuvers, I finally figured out how I could position myself to hoist up to the seat.  The handle was in a very awkward place and it took a while figuring out how to get around it without getting awkwardly impaled.  GS told me to use his arm for leverage.  I told him I didn’t need help.  And I managed to not only get on the bike by myself, but I did it very gracefully [with the exception of when I first got on the seat I lost my balance and fell head first into the monitor.  Luckily I caught myself with the top corner of my left eye socket- you know where you’re not at jeopardy of losing an eye cause it’s just under the eyebrow.  Funnily enough, that was the second time that morning that I had lost balance and saved myself with my head.  The other is a story for another day.]  I thought GS was going to have a heart attack, which did make it pretty funny.  And of course, that’s when Smiles happened to walk over and announce that he had definitely seen that.  I used to be afraid of embarrassing myself in the gym.  Cross that off my bucket list.

There I was on the bike.  GS helped me strap in my feet so they wouldn’t slide off the foot plate.  (That was the beginning and end of his being nice.) Since Smiles was there, I asked him to film me for my YouTube page. “Start pedaling,” GS commanded. Being the very good client, I did not.  But then I eventually did when I knew my film crew was going.  And, with a little help from my hands, I actually did pretty well.  I was able push down pretty well.  It was getting the leg around that needed some guidance.  We stopped filming.  I thought I was done.  It was only a rest.  “Let’s go.” GS said again.  <Insert dramatic sigh here.>  But I obliged.  And I did well that time.  And I felt like I could go forever.  Well, I felt like I could go forever until it got really hard and my legs didn’t want to work anymore.  For some reason, GS felt like his slow-ass countdown was going to inspire my legs to keep going.  All it inspired was dramatic eye rolls from me.  But, I did it.  So maybe it did work.  Who knows?  After another short break, I went for a third and final time.  However, this was actually my best round as my legs were all fired up.  I actually did several rotations where I didn’t even need my hands to help.  “Keep going!” GS enthusiastically exclaimed.  See, that was the one we should have filmed.  It was amazing!!  I had the Rocky theme playing in my brain.  [Not really.  I was too exhausted to even think beyond “left leg push, right leg push.”]

Getting off the bike was much easier.  I lowered myself to the bar below the seat to avoid the impaling handle and then bounced over to my chair.  The funny thing was that I hadn’t told GS what my plan was, so when he sees me plop down to the lower bar he thought I was falling and almost had a second heart attack.  Now it’s just funny to me to try to freak him out like that.  Is that mean?  Maybe.  And maybe he’s mean with all of the torture he puts me through.

*(Disclaimer: GS and I have become really good friends, which is why we can have a conversation like this.  He is actually really nice to his real clients [something I often point out and question and beg for!].)

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