Progression Regression

The hardest thing about my broken knee has been not being able to use it for several months now.   Part of the reason I started using a personal trainer was to try to maintain what little muscle use I had left in my legs.  My biggest fear is atrophy. (OK, that’s not my biggest fear.  My biggest fear is losing my bladder control because I’m a lucky paraplegic who still has that.  But talking about pee = gross.)  And when I was training with Gun Show, we actually got my legs stronger.  After some crazy hard work, I was able to lift my left leg off the floor several inches.  And it progressively got better until it was almost straight out.

But then my knee broke.  And then I went to the doctor.  And then my mean amazingly knowledgeable doctor said absolutely no activity while it’s healing.  And then I followed-up in December and he said it’s not healing as well as he hoped and since we’re trying to avoid surgery, absolutely no use until my next appointment.  In. February.  Not even early February.  Like, the last week of February.  So, by the time I get to the appointment, it will have been four months of no activity.

Do you know how short of a time it takes for a muscle to atrophy from non-use?  OK, well I don’t actually know either.  But, it’s not a long time.  Today I met with a general practice doctor and I said “I’m not supposed to use it, but since you’re my doctor you need to see what I can do.  And one time won’t really hurt anyway.” (Yes, I sounded like a drug pusher.)  And then I tried to lift my leg.

And I couldn’t.

And then I tried not to cry.

All of my really awful, hard, painful work out the window.  Will it come back?  I don’t know.  I’m not good with muscles or movement or working out.  No, seriously, I’m awful at working out.  But I’m so worried that all my hard work was in vain (and the money I spent on the training).  It was always a fun trick to show people what I could do, and now I can’t do anything.  I really do hope that my knee is healing, cause I’ll be especially PO-ed if my legs atrophy AND I have to have surgery.

knee brace

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s