I don’t remember the last time I updated my blog (and I’m too lazy to go look it up). New year equals new start. New beginning. It doesn’t really matter when I last updated. All that matters is what I do from here on out, right? One of my new year’s resolutions is to update at least once a week. Writing is cathartic for me. It helps clear my head.
I started 2018 in a funk. My knee was broken. I couldn’t put weight on it. I wasn’t able to work out normally. I didn’t know if I was going to be facing a set-back by requiring a major surgery. The broken knee kind of consumed me. I didn’t let on to that much cause I didn’t want to bum anyone else out. But, I was in a bad place. The hubs knew. My mom knew. That was about it. I finally went to a doctor and she said I had anxiety and that it was nothing to be ashamed of- it was just a chemical thing in my brain and that with everything I’ve been through in my life, she wasn’t surprised. She gave me some helpful meditation resources and dietary changes. I should have started blogging again, but I was too ashamed to admit I was having this much trouble.
The funny thing was that being diagnosed with anxiety wasn’t life ending as I thought it was going to be. It started my life over. And God or the Universe or Fate or whoever you think is out there helping things happened rewarded me for taking steps in healing myself. I met Sensei who forced me back into karate. Ok, she didn’t actually force me. I just mentioned that I used to love karate and hoped my son would get into it. She asked why I wasn’t training. I pointed to the wheelchair with a “duh!” look on my face. Unfazed, she said “And? I’ll train you. I’ll see you in my dojo on Monday.” I almost chickened out. I literally sat in the parking lot watching her dojo while I was on the phone with my mom. She said she would call my old instructor and tell him how I’d let go of everything he’d taught me about being fearless and strong. That was all the motivation I needed. I went into the dojo and immediately was embraced into my karate family. Big things are in store for 2019 in terms of karate. I can’t wait to post more about being a parathlete in karate!!
Another awesome adventure was getting back on ATVs. I grew up riding quads. I loved it! But, I hadn’t been on one since at least high school. Maybe even junior high. Well, in Wyoming this past summer, our amazing neighbors lent us their ATVs for the whole summer. I can’t even express the feeling of finding that freedom again. The wind in my hair. Doing another activity that had been so important to me as a kid.
And, I got back into writing and published one novel and two short stories. Writing stories was my life as a kid. I loved reading and writing ever since my mom introduced me to The Boxcar Children. But, I stopped writing fiction in my twenties. But I got serious about it last year and got published.
So 2018 was the year of finding my happiness by reliving my childhood in a way. And I can say that the second half of the year was way better than the first. And I’m going into 2019 in such a good place that I know I’m strong enough to handle any challenge 2019 has to throw at me (don’t take that as a challenge, Universe!!).
Happy New Year!