Back at it

The past month has been rough.  March is already my least favorite month but this past one was one for the books (though technically it started in the end of February).  I took a few beatings and wasn’t sure how I was going to come out on the other side.*  It started with my broken toe.  The mysterious, no clue how or when it happened, why do I not have feeling but can still tell that this thing hurts like heck, broken toe. That was annoying.  Then, the next day I hurt my back at the gym.  I did a motion which involved twisting which is a huge no-no in my spinal cord.  And that spinal cord made sure that I knew how pissed off at me it was.  It took about a week and a half for me to stop crying in pain.  Then it was more of a I-got-punched-inside-my-spine ache.  Then it became a dull pain.  And then, one day, it was gone.  The Hubs asked how I was feeling and I realized that I wasn’t.  There wasn’t pain there.  In the midst of all the broken painness, I also caught an ear infection.  That sucked too.  A lot.  The ear hurt, and the antibiotics they put me on made me throw up a lot.

But, now it’s April and I’m pain free, earache free, bones mended back together and healthy.  And as of a week and a half ago, I’m a contender for a clinical trial on the ReWalk.  If I get into this trial, I’ll have the bionic legs for a year and help prove to insurance companies the health benefits of having them.  To say that I’m beyond stoked is an understatement!!  I have my physical therapy evaluation next week.  So, having been out of service for the past month, and with it being a beautiful new month, I decided it was time to get back to the gym.

For the first time since joining this gym I was nervous to go in.  I’m a bit gun shy now that I may hurt myself again.  But, I had an appointment for training with Ninja Trainer so I had to go in.  And I have faith in his experience in training and I know he won’t let me overexert myself.  We had a talk about my fears and about how I just have to be careful, mindful and vocal.  The hour flew by!  We did a very thorough warm-up and did a lot of slow training on various machines.  You’d think that slow movements and lower weight would be easier.  And if I could raise my arms, I would slap you in the face.  My arms caught fire before out session ended.  It was amazing!!

And my biggest fear (that I would lose all progress that I had made) flew out the window.  I still retained a lot of the strength that GunShow had helped me gain.  Ninja Trainer pointed out the definition in several of my muscle groups, which made me feel better.  I was also worried that my dedication would be gone, but I’m so stoked to be back in the gym that I found my motivation to make healthy changes all around!  NT is going to give me meal planning guidelines to help me meet all of my goals.  His training, combined with eating healthy and *fingers crossed!!!!* the ReWalk could be everything I need to make some HUGE improvements!  And I did promise my gym friends that I would try to walk again so they could be the gym who got the paralyzed girl walking.

Cheers to picking back up and moving forward even stronger!

*It wasn’t all terrible. I did get to spend a lot more time with my Little Mister and do a ton of fun things like park play dates with other kids. I think that little baby is what kept me from really going off the deep end.

Eat less…yeah right

It all started a couple weeks ago.  My mom uttered those 7 words that every girl loves hates to hear:  “I think you should see a nutritionist.”  I told her it’s rude to make fun of the handicapped.  She repeated her statement.  I told her that this conversation was better to be had over pizza.  She repeated her statement.  I told her that I don’t need a nutritionist to tell me to move more and eat less.  I need new legs to move more.

Ok, earlier I said I need new legs to move more.  Did you fall for it?  I’m the queen of excuses.  Did that one make you feel bad?  It doesn’t make my mom feel sad.  She tells me to move however I can.  For example, getting from the floor to the sofa gets my heart rate up.  She sat there today to see if it’s something we agree I could do while I was home alone without the fear of being the next “Help, I’ve fallen and can’t get up spokeswoman.”  I wasn’t in the correct attire for this attempt, however.  I was wearing nylon warm-ups which kept sliding all over the floor.  I couldn’t get traction to save my life.  I finally managed to wedge a pillow under my knees which gave me enough traction to hoist my upper body onto the sofa.  My therapy dogs (which are really just my dogs during therapy time) thought I was playing a game and both decided to sit on my back.  They’re always looking to lend a helpful paw.  Or for a new place to rest.  After shooing them off of me, I managed to finally get myself onto the sofa.  The whole thing took about 5 minutes and probably got my heart rate up enough to burn 100 calories.  Probably not one of the exercises I should do unsupervised, unless we want the hubs to find me half sprawled on the sofa in my new occupation of “dog bed”.

Since move more isn’t the best solution right now, eat less is definitely the solution.  There’s just one problem: I love junk food so much that it’s practically against my religion to not eat them.

A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with my friend Kiki (not her real name, but the name she plans on her grandkids calling her one day.  Her kids are under 10.).  We were talking about dieting and losing weight and all those other things girlfriends talk about when they get together.  She told me how her mom and sister told her that being skinny feels better than anything tastes.  I wish I had that mindset.  I would probably pay money if someone could reprogram my brain that way.   But, I love the taste of cake.  And ice cream.  And pizza.  And those are all way better than being skinny.  Yes, yes.  Being skinny is wonderful.  But, so are Oreos!  Literally, they’re so delicious that after I wrote that last sentence, I got sidetracked on the Oreo website and found that they have recipes for delicious desserts!  That’s how addicted to junk food I am!

To be fair, after Kiki and I had this conversation, I made her a spinach and goat cheese salad with balsamic vinegar and a hint of Italian seasoned olive oil.  So, I am not opposed to eating healthy.  I try to do it pretty often.  I just believe in moderation.  One thing healthy, two things junk food.  One thing healthy, two things junk food.  Etc, etc.  I usually find ways to justify it.  I’m in a wheelchair; I deserve those cookies.  I’m home alone; I need Skittles.  I had a hard workout so an extra scoop of ice cream won’t hurt.  It’s Wednesday pizza day.  It’s someone’s birthday somewhere in the world so let’s buy a sheet cake.  I can literally find any way to justify any junk food decision.

But there is one way to get me to cut back on the bad food.   And no, it’s not health related.  Yes, I do acknowledge that losing weight would help walking when I’m using all upper body on the walker.  And that’s a benefit.  Is it enough to get me to stop though?  Nope.  And yes, I acknowledge that putting on my clothes without using my legs would be easier if they fit looser.  Again, not enough to change my habits.  The one thing that is enough?  Having my mom bring up the fact that I need to go on a diet.  She’s not the type to let things go.  She will bookend every conversation with reminders.  She’ll bring it up at all times of the day when she calls to check in.  It is worth it to sincerely cut back on the intake just to have those nails on chalkboard conversations friendly reminders stop.  And believe me you, she knows this and is precisely the reason she persists.  After 33 years, she knows every trick and has me beat at every turn.  So mom, you’ll be glad to know that tonight I am passing on the cake for dessert and instead having a bowl of strawberries.